I do not promote self harm or encourage it in anyway. I do not promote suicide. I am not pro self harm, depression, suicide or anxiety. I am in no way trying to glorify this kind of life or emotional state.
This is a blog where I write about my daily life. Sometimes the posts will be boring and sometime they will be exciting. I am 19 and from Canada. I will also talk about my struggles with Anxiety, Depression, and Self Harm. With those topics may come some triggering material so here it is the *TRIGGER WARNING* for anyone suffering from any or all of these things. I hope you enjoy my rants and if you need some support/someone who will listen or you have questions or you just want to chat I'm always willing. :)
my emotions are getting worse. my depression and anxiety have been really good for a while and over the past few days it feels like they are getting worse. I’m clearly in a depressive episode. but I’m really scared. I feel like all of my positive emotions have shut down. I feel more negative feeling then positive throughout the day. My anxiety feels worse, I’m scared that I don’t love anyone that I care about, but I know I do I just cant feel it. I keep getting these waves of anxiety. They are so awful! I hate this. I’m scared and I don’ know whats going on!
I had a really bad panic attack last night. I starting thinking about some stuff and it sent me into a full blown attack. It scared the shit out of Tyler. I felt really bad for upsetting him but he understood. I really thought I was going to pass out. Then my hand went numb and that made me panic more because that doesn’t usually happen to me. The worst part is how weird my whole body feels afterwards. I can’t ever really describe it, it just feels off. But once I had finally calmed down enough I just got into bed and went to sleep, thank god. But today I have a headache and I’m feeling a little miserable. Hopeful tomorrow I’ll feel better.
do you ever get in those moods where you don’t feel like reading and you don’t feel like being on the internet and you don’t feel like watching a show and you don’t feel like sleeping and you don’t feel like existing in general
BUT YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING.It’s in words
Having an anxiety disorder is like that moment where your chair almost tips or you miss a step going down the stairs but it never stops
THIS IS THE ONLY DESCRIPTION OF ANXIETY I HAVE EVER IDENTIFIED WITH
THIS IS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE
BUT HOURS- SOMETIMES DAYS- LONG
Yeah I’ve been an asshole in the past but I’m pretty fucking cool now and getting better every day. Fuck the past and fuck anyone who tries to keep me there; get a better hobby.
I really hate being an introvert because I sometimes think “oh hey, I can totally hang out with a bunch of people right now! I can handle it! I hate being alone!!” and then three hours into hanging out I realize how draining of energy it is for me to be around other people and I just want to curl up into a ball and isolate myself for the rest of my life.