I do not promote self harm or encourage it in anyway. I do not promote suicide. I am not pro self harm, depression, suicide or anxiety. I am in no way trying to glorify this kind of life or emotional state.
This is a blog where I write about my daily life. Sometimes the posts will be boring and sometime they will be exciting. I am 19 and from Canada. I will also talk about my struggles with Anxiety, Depression, and Self Harm. With those topics may come some triggering material so here it is the *TRIGGER WARNING* for anyone suffering from any or all of these things. I hope you enjoy my rants and if you need some support/someone who will listen or you have questions or you just want to chat I'm always willing. :)
So things are finally in motion for Ty to get his second tattoo. He wants to get his family crest on his forearm. I got a hold of his aunt and she sent me the crest that Ty’s grandfather got painted after doing a ton of research about their family. So the next step is to take the picture down to Ty’s tattoo artist and get a quote then I can get the money for the deposit and we can get the appointment made. I told Tyler I’ll pay for as much of the tattoo as I can for his birthday gift. Hopefully we can get an appointment at least in the month of his birthday. If not some time in the summer will still be good. Tyler is really excited to get his second tattoo. I’m really excited for him! Hopefully it wont be as long as his first one. 7 hours is a long time to sit in a tattoo shop not to mention for Tyler to be getting a tattoo. So we’ll see what happens.
YOU MIGHT GET MARRIED ONE DAY AND GET TO LIVE WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND AND DECORATE YOUR HOME WITH THEM AND DO EVERYTHING TOGETHER LIKE WATCH LATE NIGHT INFORMERCIALS JUST BECAUSE AND SEE THEIR SLEEPY FACE WHEN THEY WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND HAVE A SECRET HANDSHAKE AND BE REALLY WEIRD WITH THEM AND THEY’LL STILL LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT AND IF THE POSSIBILITY OF ALL OF THAT DOESN’T MAKE YOU SMILE IDK WHAT WILL
I really want someone. Someone who I can be myself around, completely silly or completely serious. A person who will laugh along at my stupidest jokes or hold me when I’m sad. A person to go out and walk around the city with, going wherever we please, or just stay at home with and watch movies all night. We’ll eat whatever we want and sleep whenever we want. Just be there for each other. Just someone to love.
Tyler is at school all day and then he has to work all night. My little sister is working all day, my mom is trying to get house work done before she goes to work, my older sister is at work all day. It’s like -35 outside so it’s too cold to take the dog out to the pet store or something. I just want something to do today. The only friend I have is also in school and I don’t really know her schedule so I don’t want to bother her to see if she’s free today. I could wait till my older sister gets home and see if she wants to go to dinner but then I’m still bored all day and I really shouldn’t be spending any extra money. I’m just feeling really lonely today. I keep thinking of maybe bussing to the mall but the mall makes me really nervous when I’m alone and then I’ll probably end up spending money on something I don’t need. So I guess I’ll just lay in bed all day with the dog and watch TV. I wish I had someone to talk to.
Dear Future Daughter:
1) When you’re at some party, chain smoking on the roof with some strange girl with blue hair and exorbitant large dark eyes, ask her about her day. I promise you, you won’t regret it. Often times you’ll find the strangest of people have the most captivating of stories to tell.
2) Please, never mistake desire for love. Love will engulf your soul, whilst desire will emerge as acid, slowly making it’s way through your veins, gradually burning you from the inside out.
3) No one is going to fucking save you, anything you’ve read or heard otherwise is bullshit.
4) One day a boy is going to come along who’s touch feels like fire and who’s words taste like vanilla, when he leaves you, you will want to die. If you know anything at all, know that it is only temporary.
5) Your mental health comes before school baby, always. If its midnight, and you have an exam the next day but your hands have been shaking for the past hour and a half and you’re not so sure you want to be alive anymore, pull out that carton of Ben and Jerry’s and afterwards, go the fuck to bed. So what if you get a 68% on the exam the next day? You took care of yourself and at the end of the day that will always come before a high test score. To hell with anyone who tells you differently.”
pros of dating me
- you can hold my hand whenever you want
- you can cuddle with me whenever you want
- you can kiss me whenever you want
cons of dating me
- i get jealous easily
- i’m sad a lot
- i will never feel good enough for you no matter how many times you tell me i am